英语口语之初度约会的4个小技巧

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1.talk travel, not movies

1.谈旅行，别谈影片

in a study by richard wiseman, less than 9% of couples that talked movies wanted a second date vs 18% of couples that talked about travel.

有理查德·怀斯曼做的一项研讨中，想要第次约会的人中，两边谈论影片的不到9%，而两边谈论旅行的占了18%。

when talking about movies, less than 9 percent of the pairs wanted to meet up again, compared to 18 percent when participants spoke about the top topic—travel… the conversations about travel tended to revolve around great holidays and dream destinations, and that makes people feel good and so appear more attractive to one another.

假定约会时谈论影片，那只需不到9%的约会两边会想再次碰头，比较之下，假定谈论旅行，就有18%的人想要第次约会…关于旅行的对话一般环绕着休闲的假期和愿望的旅行名胜而打开，旅行休假这个论题使人感触杰出，这个论题能让两边都彼此更有招引力。

2.it s not just what you talk about, it s how you talk

2.不在于你谈啥，而在于你怎么谈

add to what they say and bounce the ball back.this is how to have smooth first date conversation.

把对方谈的论题进行弥补，再把疑问抛给对方，进行新一轮交流。这样才是初度约会顺畅攀谈开心谈天的方法。

avoid extremes in autonomy. don t dominate, but don t be a non-contributor either.

不要极点地把控言语权。不占主导方位，但也不要做完全被逼的人物。

3.share secrets

共享隐秘

emotional, personal information exchange during first date conversation promotes powerful feelings of connection.

初度约会交流豪情、彼此交流自个信息能大大推进豪情的联络。

a psychologist at the state university of new york at stony brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he s come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in mcadams s system to level two.[/en]

纽约州立大学斯托尼布鲁克分校的一位心思学家关于我们是如何构成浪漫联络这方面的研讨很感快乐喜爱，他想出了一个奇妙的策略把历来没有见过面的男女让他们感触彼此接近。一般需要几周、几个月或几年的时刻才干发生亲近感，而经过这一战略用一小时支配的时刻就可以，他经过拟定了一组疑问，包括36个疑问对参加者进行查验，就加速了夸姣感触的发生进程，在麦克亚当斯的体系中，等级灵敏从一级前进到二级。

but how effective can this be, really?

但作用究竟如何?真有这么奇特吗?

in under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship.

在一个小时内树立起来的豪情比终身友谊的豪情更激烈。

what he found was striking. the intensity of the dialogue partners bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students. in other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.

他的发现非常惊人。45分钟的对话时刻结束两边所树立起来的亲近感，类似30%的学生在日子中行成的最亲近的豪情。换句?担词笔髁⑵鹄吹那捉锌缭搅诵矶喑な笨膛嘤暮狼椋踔帘戎丈砼嘤鹄吹暮狼榛挂∽场?br>

4.choose controversial over dull every time

4.每次约会的争论气氛胜于愁闷气氛

if all else fails, talk about abortions and std s.

假定其他论题都争论不起来的话，争论一下堕胎和性病传达这类疑问。

forcing people to discuss interesting but more controversial topics made for more enjoyable first

date conversation.

迫使我们谈论有意思但更有争议性的论题，营建这样的气氛会让初度约会攀谈的气氛更令人开心。

we limited the type of discussions that online daters could engage in by eliminating their ability to ask anything that they wanted and giving them a preset list of questions and allowing them to ask only these questions. the questions we chose had nothing to do with the weather and how many brothers and sisters they have, and instead all the questions were interesting and personally revealing (ie.,“how many romantic partners did you have?”, “when was your last breakup?”, “do you have any stds?”, “have you ever broken someone s heart?”, “how do you feel about abortion?”)… instead of talking about the world cup or their favorite desserts, they shared their innermost fears or told the story of losing their virginity. everyone, both sender and replier, was happier with the interaction…what we learned from this little experiment is that when people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward anequilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.

咱们对网上结交者所谈论的论题限制类型，不答应想问啥就问啥，把可以问的疑问给他们列出一个表，只答应他们问这些疑问。咱们选择的疑问与气候无关，也不问有多少兄弟姐妹，一切的疑问都很有意思，而且都能从疑问的答复中看出每自个的特性(如，“你谈过多少次恋爱?”“你上一次分手是啥时分?”“你有性病吗?”“你伤过别人的心吗?”“你对堕胎这个疑问怎么看?”)…不谈论世界杯或自个喜爱的甜点，共享彼此心里深处的惊骇或许告诉对方自个失身的隐秘。每自个既要向对方叙说自个的故事也要倾听对方的倾诉，进行高兴互动…咱们从这个小实验中可以晓得到我们安适选择自个想要谈论啥论题，他们一般倾向平衡易于维护，但不会从中领会到真实的愉悦感触或从中获益。

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